YOU CANT MAKE THIS STUFF UP

personal anecdotes from a left-of-center career

                                    

 

 

—Sang Tina Fey's Liz Lemon's Randy Newman-ish allegorical pining for a child song "Planty & Me" for a season finale of NBC's 30 Rock.

 

—Pinch-hit numerous times for bandleader Paul Shaffer on CBS's The Late Show with David Letterman.  Highlight? Once played MLB legend Pete Rose to the desk with "The Hustle". Nice.

 

—Helped reunite Phish, while leading a band playing for the legendary group's manager's wedding.  The Police's Stewart Copeland was playing drums. Stoners everywhere send me Thank You notes.

 

—Over ten years ago, I co-wrote a theme song for a South American Tele-Novella called "El Clon".  That's a Spanish soap opera.  It still runs. The other writer was Michael Bolton. We wrote it at his estate in CT. He has a putting green in his front yard.  That's awesome. He's a gentleman and a pro.

 

—Wrote & performed TV spots for Twix, Pepsid AC, & Paxil—in the same year. The ad biz is very convoluted and evil.

 

—Wrote the Dance Arrangements for Broadway's "Good Vibrations"- fe

aturing music of The Beach Boys.  "God Only Knows" is my favorite song of all time, so, I had that going for me.

 

—Had a friend verbally accuse Elvis Costello of "stealing Jeff's look".  Elvis was taken aback, looked at me, and

chuckled lightly.

 

—Sang The Star Spangled Banner at a boxing match at Newark, NJ's Prudential Center.  Was told by the Ring Announcer that he was "the biggest Jukes fan, ever" and proceeded to ramp up the Jeffffff Kazeeeeeeeee!!!  intro like gangbusters. Jeffffff Kazeeeeeeeee did not forget the words.

 

—I played Liberace's mirror-covered grand piano in Las Vegas, NV.  No, that's not a "Behind The Candelabra" same-sex metaphor. My friend, the late-great drummer Louie Appel, sweet-talked the Manager of The Liberace Museum into allowing his "very accomplished pianist friend" (me) to perform a 7 minute Guest Recital for two Jukes and four Bluehaired old ladies. Aside from performing for my (then) 7 year-old daughter's class, the only time I've really been nervous onstage.  Photos were not allowed. So wrong.

 

—Rehearsed all day with a sultry & fetching Gina Gershon, as she worked out the particulars of a Singing Cigarette Girl bit for a Celebrity Roast of Denis Leary.  She kept saying "You know what I wanna do? I really just wanna…rock".  Such unfortunate verbage.

 

—I've been fired from the Asbury Jukes 11 times.  I've fired Southside Johnny from the Asbury Jukes 7 times.